Goodbye 20's - Timeless Thursdays 6

This Timeless Thursday I am sharing you this very special photo I found at the treasure chest in our house a.k.a. photo albums. Below is a photo of me from 26 years ago.

I can still remember that day this was taken despite my very young age. I think it was Christmas Day and it was a day I got really pissed. When I was a kid, I hate noises and screaming people, and we get lots of that during Christmas. There is a tradition in our family where my Grandpa and Grandma would climb midway on our stairs and would throw lots of coins and paper bills to the living room and all my cousins, aunts, and uncles would all drop to the ground and pick up as much money they can get. With all the laughter and happiness comes massive amounts of screaming which annoys and scares me so much (I don't know why, are some of your kids like that too?).

So to stop me from crying my lungs out, I can still remember how tired I got from crying, my Mom and Dad knew where to bring me. They drove 10 miles from our house to this Economic Zone called "Gateway" where a lot of flags are hoisted. It was an instant pacifier for me. I love flags. That tiny little boy on the picture knew every country, every flag, and every capital in the world at that age. It was my Uncle, he taught me that and my love for Geography and culture had never left until this very day. I can even remember how I would watch Pilot Guides as a kid and I would cry (see I'm pretty sentimental even from before) praying to God that someday I can see France and Thailand and New Zealand and Australia and Romania and Argentina and all the states in the USA and all the countries of the world - countries that kids my age never even knew of existing. So visiting them now one by one is a very big deal to me, they literally are dreams coming true and prayers being answered.

So Yes, seeing all those flags were a treat for me. So yes, they took me there and promised to take a photo of me with the flags and we went home with relief, especially my parents for sure.

***

It has been a crazy journey for me in the past 29 years of my life. A lot of tears, a lot of laughs, a lot of adventures, a lot of sadness, but all of it are filled with so much gratefulness. I thank the Lord for a lot of blessings that have come into my life, most of them wrapped in fancy colorful paper in the form of joyful and beautiful memories with my family and friends, but of course some of those blessings are in the form of lessons learned which made me the person who I am today. 

As I view myself today and to describe the product of the past 3 decades of my life, I can shared them through a series of words. Sentimental, Anxious, Jolly, Energetic, Driven, Ambitious, Warm, Grateful, Appreciative, and most of all I think I am Strong. 

I used to be someone who cries at school every time classmates would bully me or tease me based on their own liking, had a fair share of teachers who did not believe in me, and those who really did. Trust me I cried a lot when I was younger, even until high school. But that changed through time and even the hardest of pains just made me stronger, even losing loved ones were challenging but they don't make me cry so fast. But there's one thing about me when I grew up in the past few years. I became very sentimental. Not really with things but with people. Even the slightest gestures make me very happy. I guess it's really in my personality. That people who are just like me who are fond of making other people happy, finds so much joy when it's my turn to be shown kindness and thought. That is something I am very thankful of having, I think that is a great virtue life has instilled in me.

Today, at this very day, I celebrate my 30th birthday and I am very grateful to be celebrating it with you all my blogging friends from around the world. I may live a busy life at work and at grad school, but the love and friendship I have found with all of you is just so warming. With every visit, every comment you have left on this blog and at Cavite Daily Photo, it makes up my day and brings me so much joy, smiles, and a good feeling that I am not alone, never alone. I battled with anxiety in this past few months which brought me very low, but you guys have done a very big part in lifting me up. I just can't thank you all enough for the kind words, the long encouraging emails, for turning yourselves from strangers into good friends who I never even get to see yet. I pray that if I can be fortunate enough, that I may get to see some, if not all of you, in this lifetime. With all my heart, thank you all so much!

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I would love to welcome and invite everyone to join this new Linky that I thought of starting - Timeless Thursdays. (Bear with me for any short-comings, this is my first link ever)

Timeless Thursdays is open for anyone who wishes to share old photos or old thoughts that you would like to share as beautiful memories with everyone. This can be from yesterday, a year ago, or something from your grandma's treasure chest.

This runs every Thursday at 12 am (Manila/Perth Time) until Monday the same time (12 am)

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

Click here to enter

A Missed Adventure

Me and my Backpack

As I write this post, Monday evening, I should have been at a riverside cottage in Vang Vieng with my father. It would have been my 23rd country and would have been another trip that will surely be memorable because I would have done it with my Dad. I planned a trip for both of us to three countries - Thailand, Laos, and Myanmar - which my dad has never been to. It would have been my third time in Thailand (I love that country so much) and, Laos and Myanmar, aside from being my 23rd and 24th country, would also have completed my list of 10 ASEAN (Association of South East Asian Nations) nations. But of course, the pandemic (or Corinna as my friend Iris Flavia would call it) decided to visit us all for good. I feel really sorry for my father more than me, because he has been very excited to travel again to another country and it would have been very fun for him to spend a week in three different countries.

As a little boy, I have always been a lover of Geography. My uncle taught me each and every country, its flag and its capital, and got me to memorize all of them at the age of 4. With that, it was more than drills and mind-sharpening for me, it started my love for culture, diversity, and the different kinds of people on this planet. Different attitudes, skin colors, and lifestyles, but all my brothers and sisters. 

Travel has taught me that I am not alone and I am not original. That people can differ in ways and beliefs but all are capable of understanding and accepting. For every photo I see on books that have become a "right in front of me", they all were proofs to the cliche 'dreams do come true'. It has helped me know amazing people who some become my friends, foods so foreign but became tastes that are stapled to my mind, and experiences and adventures that books and movies can never really enlive. 

About the Photo: This photo was taken by my cousin. All the patches on my backpack represents each and every country and territory that I have visited. In front of me in the middle of the lake is Taal Volcano, which erupted earlier this year and spewed out tons of ashes into the sky that covered a huge part of the Cavite Province. It displaces thousands of families not just those that are living on the volcanic island but also those that are at the coast of the lake. At this moment, some of those families are still in evacuation area battling more of nature's challenges such as this pandemic, and worse, the upcoming storm months. I just hope we don't have strong typhoons to come in this year. 

I missed an adventure, but never the hope that it will still happen, just on a different time.

***

This post is part of my friend Jesh's All Seasons, Our World Tuesday, and Betty's My Corner of the World

Sad Days

Have you ever felt so lonely? Like, I mean, you have the most supportive friends who you know would always have your back, and family members who never fail to be present in your life, but still there's that emptiness that no matter how you distract yourself from, will do its best to be felt? I know I am a happy person, I truly am. But even the happiest of people can still feel lonely and sad from time to time. But the hardest part for me is that I have no idea why I feel sad, and alone. I always pray to the Lord that he will continue to give me comfort and peace which He always provides but still, STILL there will be moments where I just feel so all by myself.

I am known by those dear to me as the person who is made up of sunshine and stars. Always vibrant, always joyful, free from any worries or pain. But little do they know how alone I feel, despite all the smiles that my face constantly displays. With all the cheers and support that I shoot out, at times I thought, do I get my share of those things as well? I never ran out of love for people, and I never count the amount of feelings I give out to anybody, but sometimes, I just get to stop and think - Maybe I also need love.

Recognizing the hardships of other people and all other souls who are much more at a lonelier state and living a sadder life than mine makes me invalidate such feelings of sadness that I feel. But no matter how blessed and privileged I feel I am and I know I am, I guess the human in me causes my vulnerabilities to resurface, at least to myself and to my own perceptions. Also, the fear of being perceived as ungrateful to all the love and support that I get from my friends and family hinders me to open up about the shadows of silent griefs that I live through from time to time.

What do I need to make this sadness go away, or at least lessen through time. I know the light of happiness can only be appreciated if one has passed through the valleys of sorrow. But what do I need to finally reach the sun? What do I need? Or maybe, who do I need? These questions will only make it harder for me, but if not ask, will I even find answers in the first place?